It’s not often that you see wives on the road with bands. Most bands ban significant others from touring because it can cause major problems. It can be hard to separate personal from business when you are working together, let alone being on the road for days or weeks at a time. I’m still working at making sure I am more help than harm to the guys when I am on the road. I know that all these female hormones can sometimes be crazy, but I’d like to think I’ve done a decent job of keeping them in check…
I started this post a little over two years ago. Jeremy was in a different band, and it seems like a lifetime ago, even though it hasn’t even been a year since the switch. Other things have happened, too. We got primary custody of my stepdaughter. We became full time parents overnight. That really threw a wrench in things. I am also no longer a touring wife. I am now just normal Mary…Musician’s wife, mother, daughter, sister, waitress, aunt, and a few other things.
My life has been through so many changes in the past few years. The emotional rollercoaster gets overwhelming at times. I balance my kids’ schedules, work at the restaurant, Jeremy’s schedule, and whatever others need into one tightly connected schedule. Now, I am home pretty much full time. I have a driving teenager, an eight year old with activities, and a 28 year old musician husband with gigs and driving Lyft in his spare time, what little he has just to make ends meet. I’m not the only one who has this predicament, and I most certainly won’t be the last.
The band change was huge for us. We left a family we helped develop and mold for another family starting from the ground floor. Jeremy had the opportunity to be signed with the legendary Stax Records, and it was almost like a sign from God. I knew this could be a good step for us. We jumped in with both feet. We have been through many trials during this journey. Due to many circumstances, none bad, I now stay at home. My kids need stable parenting at home, and we needed the money since I am working at a better location of my restaurant. It is a new opportunity, and I have been grateful to feel a little normal the last few weeks.
But still… This change… It bothers me. My life for the past almost 7 years has been spent with Jeremy at gigs. Being his right hand became my career. Now, that road life is over. I am home most nights on the phone with him imagining what we would be doing if I was there while we trade sighs on the phone. I knew it was coming. It’s just such a big change. I didn’t know I would miss it this much.